To Cheat One’s Self

Many men who get into codependency recovery have been guilty of infidelity at one time or another. Most eventually learn the hard why that being unfaithful is one of the quickest ways to destroy a relationship. If trust and intimacy are lost, there is no firm foundation for anything meaningful. In some ways our society suggests the stereotypical American male who goes outside a committed relationship for sex is “sowing his oats” and just being a “man”. Yet, a woman who does the same thing is often thought of a tramp or worse. Whatever you call it for a man or woman, it is unhealthy for either. The person cheated most in the long run is usually the cheater. There are many reasons why mental illness is one of the fastest spreading diseases today. At least a little of it is many men thinking infidelity is “normal”.

The first and worst of all frauds
is to cheat one’s self.
All sin is easy after that.
Pearl Bailey

The Most Terrible Deception

While in a monogamous relationship seeing an attractive woman and finding her physically appealing is a normal thing. Reacting to that attraction and cheating on the one committed to you is NOT! Sure, some men will tell you it’s OK and a biologically natural thing for a man to do. That is only rational thinking for when we were only animals grunting about in the bushes; not today. Following through on an urge to be unfaithful can be everything from a bad mistake to sexual compulsion to a form of addiction. A grown up should know better and if you can’t control yourself, do what I did; get help. Don’t let it come close to destroying your life as it almost did mine.

To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception;
it is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation,
either in time or in eternity.
Soren Kierkegaard