Age of Multiple Divorces

Relationship experts don’t necessarily see problems with dating someone who has been divorced more than once, but it depends on circumstances. “If you are thinking about casually dating someone who has had multiple marriages, then there is likely no issue,” says psychologist Holly Parker, who teaches a course called “The Psychology of Close Relationships” at Harvard University. But if you want to progress to a committed relationship, there’s more to think about, she says. First, consider why the person has been married three or four times, Parker says. And ask yourself: Does this person acknowledge the mistakes he or she made that contributed to the divorces? Research does suggest that people who marry multiple times are more likely to have personality traits and issues with emotional health that make it difficult to maintain satisfying, long-term relationships, Parker says. So be keenly aware of the pot you’ve jumped into and why. Marcy Miller, author of “Rebooting in Beverly Hills: A Wise and Wild Path for Navigating the Dating World” (Bancroft Press), has been married four times. She contends it’s “absurdly judgmental” to assume anything from the fact that someone has had multiple marriages. Still, she allows that catching white lies should be “red flags” and believes you should Google your date, even after the first get-together, just to have more information. “Integrity and trust are essential elements to any relationship, business or personal,” she says. “There are a million reasons marriages fail, and the particulars will be discovered during dating.” Taken From “Dating In an Age of Multiple Divorces” By Richard Asa http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2013-01-16/features/sc-fam-0115-dating-divorced-20130115_1_divorce-rates-relationship-coach-multiple-times

Those who divorce
aren’t necessarily
the most unhappy,
just those neatly able
to believe their misery
is caused by one other person.
Alain de Botton