Hidden Behind Their Fear, Guilt, and Shame

Codependent people are fearful of being abandoned, ignored, or shamed, so they continually look to others or things outside of themselves for cues to tell them what they should be like or what they need to do. Although sensitivity to others can be a wonderful trait, codependents take it to an extreme. They become absorbed with adjusting to the cues that others give about their desires and wishes. Because codependents are so focused on pleasing or helping others, they tend to lose touch with their own desires and thoughts and feelings. They have learned to protect themselves by disconnecting from significant portions of their inner emotional life. Inwardly, they don’t feel strong, settled, and confident. This is because they struggle with their basic sense of self. Consequently, they have a hard time knowing what they want. They fear facing themselves truthfully and risking being true to their own feelings and judgments. When they are aware of emotions, what often comes to the surface are painful feelings of emptiness, shame, and anger rather than their healthy desires and potential for good judgments. Those are hidden behind their fear, guilt, and shame. Jason T. Li. Ph.D. http://lifecounsel.org/pub_li_overcomingCodependency.html

An individual’s self-concept is the core of his personality.
It affects every aspect of human behavior:
the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change.
A strong, positive self-image is the best
possible preparation for success in life.
Dr Joyce Brothers