Part of the diagnosis I received when I got into serious recovery about six years ago, was that I am a “love avoidant”. That’s seems really strange since it’s love that I desire most of all, which is part of the patterns of the dysfunction. Love avoidance is the systematic putting up of walls in a relationship to prevent feeling emotionally overwhelmed by another person. Consequently, it prevents true intimacy. It can be described as a form of emotional anorexia. The love avoidant perceives love as being an obligation or duty, so relationships are experienced as an emotional drain. The love avoidant tends to become involved with love addicts, and puts up walls to decrease the intensity within the relationship. However, the more the avoidant distances, the more the love addict pursues. The avoidant often responds by a pattern of deprivation within the primary relationship, while acting in ways that create intensity outside of that relationship (e.g., work, pursuing other relationships or sexual encounters, addictions, etc.). http://drjanicecaudill.com/love-addiction.html
Love is a sweet tyranny,
because the lover
endureth his torments willingly.
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