My dreams have always been in color, but my thinking used to be mostly black and white. When I lived nearly fully immersed in codependency my tendency was to see how people behaved as either “good” or “bad”. There was little gray area. Further, I kept score of when I perceived a particular person did what I thought he or she should or should not do. Like “God” I was taught about as a child in Sunday school, I became the “Judge” with the big book where I made note of others transgressions. Looking back I can see my notations were always for the “bad” and rarely for the “good” things someone did. And the person I kept the closest track of? ME! As a recovering codependent I know that everyone is perfectly imperfect and our actions are always in the colorful “in between” and rarely, if ever, purely black or white.
Between the fear that something would happen
and the hope that still it wouldn’t,
there is much more space than one thinks.
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